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10 THINGS HAPPY PEOPLE DO DIFFERENTLY!

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What makes some people come across as always positive and cheerful regardless of their circumstance?

We know it’s not that they don’t ever have problems. So what makes some people seem to breeze through life without getting bogged down in negativity.  Here is a list of 10 things you can start doing to become one of those people. It all starts with emotional intelligence.

Following these 10 tips will help you to start to flex your own emotional intelligence muscles.  And guess what, the more you do it, the easier it gets.  It is not hard, but it does take consistent effort.

1) Minimize time you spend with negative or toxic people. 

Emotionally intelligent people are very protective of the energy allowed in their life. Are you familiar with the quote by Jim Rohn, “you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with?”  This should be a strong message to choose friends and partners wisely. Everything is energy, and the energy you surround yourself with will either lift you up or bring you down.  This begs the question, which would you prefer? You can be bitter or better, but you can’t be both.

2) Don’t rely on others to determine how you feel.

Whether they are happy or sad, emotionally intelligent people realize it is within their power to maintain it or change it. It is also helpful to have the perspective that if someone offends them, it probably wasn’t intentional. Hurting people hurt people, and if you hold on to resentment you are only hurting yourself.  It’s like the old adage of taking poison and expecting the other person to die. Oftentimes the other person doesn’t even realize when they are being hurtful.  They usually also forget about it very quickly which is long before the person that was offended.  This is because most people spend the majority of their time and energy thinking about themselves and how they feel.

3) Focus on your spiritual growth.

Connecting with God, your soul or higher self is an important aspect of emotional intelligence. This can be done through meditation or prayer. I find people that make this a priority in their lives find it much easier to maintain their joy and peace while going through difficulty and uncertainty.

4) Be keenly aware of your negative emotions and have ways of quickly shifting them.

Most people go through their day letting their circumstances control their emotions.  Emotionally intelligent people are just the opposite.  They realize the circumstances are external to themselves and have no control over their feelings if they make a conscious decision not to allow it. This can be done by setting the intention for your day ahead of time. Using the phrase this too shall pass is a way to reset perspective.  Also having ways of quickly shifting to a positive emotion like forcing a smile or singing a song.  It is hard to continue to be upset if you are laughing, smiling or singing.  Try it sometime.  The first step is to realize when you have negative emotions, and the more you exercise this muscle the easier it will get.

5) Choose your thoughts.

Let’s face it, most of what we hear from the news media and other people is negative.  This is because most people let society or events dictate their thoughts. A way to counteract this is to stop reading or watching the news.  I stopped this several years ago, and I can’t believe the change it has made in my life.  Instead of reading the newspaper, I read uplifting books like the bible or motivational authors such as Zig Ziglar, Napoleon Hill and Wayne Dyer.

6) Be goal oriented

Having goals and accomplishing them can be very empowering.  This sense of empowerment feeds on itself, as long as you keep things in perspective when you fall a little short  When you accomplish something you set out to do, it feels so awesome, and this is a time to celebrate.  Take time to celebrate your successes.  Take time just to celebrate you. Have a goal of being a better person today than yesterday.  Take little baby steps and in a few months you will look back in amazement at how far you have come.

7) Live a life of gratitude

I firmly believe that being grateful for what you have in life will attract more things to be grateful for.  It sure beats the flip side of not appreciating anything.  Often when I have gone through something difficult, I can look back and find the blessings in that experience. I believe that it is through the difficult times in our lives that we have the greatest opportunity for growth.  It is all determined by our reaction to it. I have come to a point in my life that I truly enjoy who I am. I also realize that the good and bad experiences made me who I am.  It is the difficult experiences that allow us to grow in confidence, because we can truly test and prove our mettle.

8) Focus on the positive

I have a saying that there is always an upside, it’s just that sometimes you have to look harder than others. It is much more fun to focus on the positive than depress yourself by always looking at what is wrong.  Try this experiment, when you are having a conversation with someone that sees life as the glass always being half empty instead of half full, come back with a positive response to every negative comment they make.  Don’t agree with them, instead find a positive in the situation.  I guarantee that person will be astonished and amazed even if they don’t let on.  The world is desperately looking for hope, so go ahead and let your light of hope shine brightly.

9) Learn the lessons from your mistakes and setbacks.

Sometimes things happen to us that are out of our control, but we always need to be willing to own our part.  Sometimes our part may be just our reaction and response to the negative situation.  Looking at how we can grow through adversity is a much more positive approach than being bitter and negative, or placing blame in other places or people. This is saying I go back to often during times of trials.  We need to own our stuff.

10) Look for beauty in all things.

If you believe in a higher power of creation, then it is hard not to realize that there is beauty in everything. A point I like to bring up when people disagree with this comment is to bring up hurricane Katrina or some other natural disaster.  Yes it was a horrendous situation, but what I think of when I think of Katrina is the outpouring of love and sacrifice.  People gave of their time, talents and finances to ease people’s pain and hardship.

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